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BACK OFF YOU BULLIES! PT-2. WHEN HATERS REALLY NEED TO SHUT
THE FUCK UP!
Anyone out there
in the US who is not deeply affected by the death of Buffalo
teenager Jamey Rodemeyer needs a serious reality check. This 14 yr
old boy was the fourth teen this month bullied to the point of
taking his life. Bullied in school for being different also spread
to the internet. “You weren’t born this way, you should have never
been born” “Jamie is stupid, gay, fat & ugly. He must die” are 2
examples of the hate speech that where posted. What message are kids
receiving to think that this kind of bullying is acceptable?
A freshman in high
school Jamey blogged openly about his issues and freely advocated
about the things he was enduring. Friends reported his treatment to
guidance counselors and those around him recently felt he was
stronger. Jamey was enormously influenced by Lady Gaga and he quoted
the lyrics of her song Born This Way “Hold your head and you’ll go
far; Love yourself & your set!”
He recently said
online “I always say how bullied I am but no one listens. What do I
have to do so people will listen?” Jamey was found dead outside his
home on Sunday morning, details where not released by the Police. In
a video blog in May he said “People don’t want me to die” How
desperate must this young man have been to take his own life? Do we
need any more evidence that we now have a pandemic of bullying on
When I heard what
had happened I cried and felt so many emotions about what Jamey had
gone through. I related so closely to his experiences which was
maybe a big factor in the level of my response. It is over two
decades since I was in school and STILL this archaic form of torture
is occurring. When as a society will we learn how damaging it is
bullying is to anyone, let alone a young person at such a crucial
stage in their development. My sadness has prompted me to do
something more to raise awareness.
Gay white males
are 5 times more likely to commit suicide in response to their
treatment. LGBT kids or those who are perceived to be are victimized
at a higher rate than the regular student population. They are
taunted on average of 26 times per day. Sixty thousand children stay
away from school every day out of fear. Although gay rights issues
have been furthered in the past few years there is clearly a long
way to go, and we all have a role to play in this. Even the language
we choose makes a great deal of difference to what we put out there
into the world.
are clearly culpable in this instance and calls for an anti bullying
laws continue with the likes of Lady Gaga, Anderson Cooper and Dan
Savage pushing for the changes. Lady Gaga tweeted: "Bullying
must become illegal. It is a hate crime". Police have apparently and
quite rightly opened an investigation into this Jamey’s death.
Someone needs to be held accountable for this young mans unnecessary
death and urgent changes need to be made in Jamey’s school,
Williamsville North High in Buffalo.
The School has
scheduled a parent forum on October 25th on teen
depression and suicide awareness, in order to enable similarly
bullied students to seek help. This is too little too lately for
Jamey, although I am sure other students will benefit. Teachers
don’t need any special training for this. Isn’t it simple enough to
request that hate speech is NOT used in the classroom? I am sure
most Teachers are very fair but as I have said before they cannot be
I am reminded once
again of Tyler Clementi, an 18 year old student who committed
suicide after being filmed having sex and feeling so ridiculed
regarding his sexual orientation. Although prosecutions are afoot,
his roommate is denying this was a bias crime. I am left wondering
then where are the videos of his heterosexual fellow students having
sex? This is yet another senseless death of someone who was harassed
for his sexual orientation and it is clear that we are not doing
enough as a society to effect change which highlights the need for
A House bill 370
in Kentucky has been raised to prohibit bullying because of a
students sexual orientation, race or religion. Some idiots are
terming anti bullying of young gay people as “a homosexual agenda”.
Do people really think you can catch it? There is no agenda other
than that protecting individuals and making sure they are safe.
Using a neutrality perspective is not an option either as ultimately
it further enables the bullies in their tirade.
State law maker
Mike Harmon (R) Kentucky, doesn’t want Christian young people to be
labeled as bullies for having a moral or religious beliefs or for
thinking homosexuality is a sin, but has little to say about gay
young people being bullied for their sexual orientation. This really
is the trickle effect of hate in action. When air-heads like Harmon
make statements of this ilk they breed hatred and frankly give
Christians a bad name. Christian children cannot use their religious
beliefs as license to bully. Where is the love?
The God that I
know and love is a God of love and does not promote this kind
response. Harmon is a hypocrite! I do not believe homosexuality is a
sin but if as a Christian you do, surely you are commanded to love
the sinner? This message promoted breeds hatred and excuses
intolerance. It is so important that we do not allow people in power
to use their religious beliefs to effect change. Where in this issue
is the separation of Church and State?
(Focus on the Family) recent comments leave reaching for the sick
bucket! She said “What parents need to be aware of is that there
are activists groups who want to promote homosexuality to kids
because they realize they can capture hearts and minds of our
children at the earliest stages, they will have for all practical
purposes won the clash of values we are currently experiencing!
If anyone has an
agenda, clearly it is Cushman. Her comments reek of hate and frankly
the only thing being promoted is Equality. Gay people do not need to
promote homosexuality. There will always be gay people, it is a
given. Unfortunately bigots like her cannot see the importance of
teaching equality and tolerance to children and young people. If she
had been taught about these things from an early age then maybe she
would not have such tunnel vision. In my fight for equality I am not
just fighting for the rights of gay people, I am fighting for the
rights of all people.
How Cushman can
write about “True Tolerance” and have a response like this is most
worrying. For her to see activism in the gay community as having an
agenda differently from what it actually is is just another attempt
to muddy the waters. Her statements are very much open to
interpretation and have to be read several times in order to
conceptualize. Can we see Cushman’s agenda emerging?
She spews about
the rights of everybody but homosexuals, and then contradicts
herself. Her comments contribute to not only a societal problem, but
a global problem, which feeds into the pandemic of bullying,
harassment & inequality.
She needs to
practice what she preaches. Whilst children are still killing
themselves because they cannot deal with their treatment at the
hands of bullies we need to address the issue head on and NOT
pontificate on irrelevancies and diversionary tactics.
The fight for
equality is a fight that is ongoing and the haters in America need
to shut the fuck up. This country was founded on Democracy, Freedom
& Liberty for all and it seems we have forgotten these fundaments
along the way. Children are the future and we need to protect and
cherish them and ensure they are not treated this way or Jamey and
the other young people who took their own lives have died in vain.
Use your platform in life wisely and ensure equality for all.
We need to see the
issues and not sidestep or use a sad situation to create more hate.
Society changes steadily but all the while hatred is being poured in
we will see it trickle down. We need to educate from ground level
and teach an attitude of tolerance towards those who are different
to us. This doesn’t make them bad or wrong, but should not make them
a target for mistreatment. Don’t be afraid to speak out against this
kind of injustice and discrimination. We will get there x
Please pray Candi
Cushman as she clearly needs it!
"Don't forget me
when I come crying to heaven's door." (Lady Gaga)
Peace and Luv, Xan x
RIP Jamey Rodemeyer and all the young people who have died as a
result of bullying. You light up the sky x
Trevor Project: 866-488-7386.
LINE BETWEEN CELEBRITY AND HYPOCRISY (LA-LA GONE GAGA)
For some time now I have become increasingly incensed by the
hypocrisy of celebrity. It seems that some members of the glitterati
feel they can and indeed say and do as they please and then do the
opposite at the drop of a hat without loss of privilege, status, or
position in the celebriverse. I am so sick of the talk of
forgiveness because whilst I am not perfect I am however sure that
before forgiveness occurs, repentance really does have to take
place. That is unless you are a celebrity and baby if you are there
is no need to even acknowledge the occurrence.
Young people follow celebrities, buy their snake oil and take
their every word as gospel. Their influences on the youth of today
can be frighteningly gripping and is a scary testament to the powers
they yield. With this power however comes a level of responsibility
which is clearly forgotten by some and also exploited by others. It
is within every individuals remit to ensure that they stand by what
they say and ensure that they are true to the philosophies they put
out there. To my own detriment sometimes I am vehemently true to
what I feel and I believe sharing that is part of my remit in life.
I am more concerned with honesty than popularity and I am here to
make a difference.
Hypocrisy is not only a failure of Celebs it is a failure of all
who do not stand by the principles they profess to live by. Because
society and the media follow every breath of those in the public
eye, we witness these failures of conscience in glorious Technicolor
while the pundits roll out excuses for bad behavior. If I hear one
more person say you can’t be principled in business I am gonna
vomit, literally. You cannot excuse ditching your values in order to
make a quick buck. This doesn’t make me want to respect you, but
standing by your principles will.
As my regular readers will know from my columns I was more than
pissed to say the least at the decision of Elton John to play at the
wedding of Rush Limbaugh (Conservative talk show host and General
Repuglican fat ass) for a cool million dollars. Limbaugh is anti-gay
and anti gay marriage, and generally anti anything non Republican. I
am sure I am not the only Mo who felt let down by this betrayal and
it’s not as if he even needed the money. Some even dubbed Elton as a
whore! Arise Whore Elton!
There really is no end to Elton’s lack of support for the gay
community and his duet with Eminem and his comments on gay marriage
in the US have not made us view him in any better light. Some feel
he redeemed himself somewhat by helping to raise $3M back in January
for the fight against Prop8 but not me. Where is the consistency
with Elton? It is sad that someone with his standing cannot be
constant in his support for the gay community. Off and on never did
it for me and although I love his music I find it hard to support
him any longer.
Last year we saw the full impact of the hypocrisy of the McCain’s
or the McHypocrites as they have been dubbed (mostly by me). Senator
McCain explains away his hypocrisy with republican rhetoric which is
becoming like religion for those who are crazy enough to take it on
board. Meghan McCain and her Mother posed for pictures for the NOH8
Campaign as a pre cursor to selling Meghan book.
Even after the furor of Target openly and unapologetically
donating to Tom (The Hater) Emmer’s campaign Meghan openly boasted
in her Twitter feed about shopping at Target and letting them sell
her book even though they had dumped on the gay community from a
great height on more than one occasion. Several reputable artists
including myself withdrew their products by way of protest.
Clearly the NOH8 support was a hypocritical act as last year
Cyndi McCain said although she fully supported gay rights she also
agreed fully with her husband Senator McCain’s views on DADT & gay
marriage rights in the US. As the two views are totally opposed
there does come a point where you have to either pick a side or shut
the fuck up Cyndi or you end up looking like the hypocrite that you
are. The saddest thing about the whole debacle is that we fell for
it hook line and sinker and believed the hype they used to sell us
to sell Meghan’s crappy book. Even though NOH8 are aware of these
facts their pictures still adorn the site. Go figure.
It was revealed last week that Lady GAGA was thinking of getting
into bed with Target for an exclusive deal that would make her a
considerable amount of money, which clearly means the deal, is
signed, sealed and delivered. Of all of the people to work with
Target after their failures to support the gay community I thought
GAGA would be the last. Clearly I was wrong. So what happened to
that total commitment to the gays? Did it go out of the window when
the chance to make a squillion bucks knocked on the door? Well
GAGA said "Part of my deal with Target is that they have to start
affiliating themselves with LGBT charity groups and begin to reform
and make amends for the mistakes they've made in the past...our
relationship is hinged upon their reform in the company to support
the gay community and to redeem the mistakes they've made supporting
those groups." But promises Target have made in the past to make
amends where just words and no action was ever seen.
All the talk in meetings with Target of being “Thoughtful” is
clearly the way GAGA’s management cover themselves for the next time
Target messes up but GAGA is still laughing all the way to the bank.
Although she is an amazing and innovative artist does she think we
are so stupid to believe this bullshit? She has no control over
Target and although I am myself a big fan of the mother monster my
enamor has now slipped somewhat. Once again I feel I have been
corporately fucked in the ass with a rubber duck only this time it
has GAGA stamped on it.
All of this leaves me questioning who is to blame for the
hypocrisy that celebrities show and the answer to that is very
simple. We are! The consumer/fan/user etc allows themselves to be
drawn in until the celebrity can do no wrong. Their fallibility goes
out of the window and they become godlike. We put celebrities onto
pedestals as if they are superhuman and untouchable and the media
endorses this rite of passage and when we see their true colors and
how we have been deceived we wonder what happened. I include myself
in all of this but see myself but as a lone voice in the community
whilst the celebs say hypocrisy? What hypocrisy? I can do no wrong!
I ask you, where do you stand?
Peace and Luv, Xan x
I AM EXSTATIC TO
REPORT THAT INDEED LADY GAGA IS TRUE TO HER WORD AND DIDN'T GO
THROUGH WITH THE TARGET DEAL PROVING THERE ARE STILL SOME
STARS WITH INTEGRITY!
TABATHA COFFEY IS
MY CUPPA TEA COZ I'M A TABAHOLIC!
Those of you who know me will
attest that nothing grabs me more than a tough, talented, beautiful
woman. Judy, Liza, Barbara, Bette, Fran, Mariska and not forgetting
Tab! Tab? You mean the soft drink? No silly I mean Tabatha Coffey
the Australian presenter of Tabatha’s Salon Takeover on Bravo TV and
author of the new book It’s Not Really About the Hair. I have a
personalized signed copy. Got yours yet? Get yours soon while stocks
to fame on Bravo’s Sheer Genius and the producers offered her
opportunity to host her own show and the rest is history, or is it?
Now in its 3rd series (Yes I am an avid viewer) Take Over
really does go from strength to strength. For those of you who
haven’t seen it shame on you lol, the show in essence is reality TV
at its very best. Every week Tabatha visits salons all over the
Union and identifies those elements preventing it from achieving its
She pulls no
punches and is brutally honest about the failures of the
establishments she visits. With exquisite phraseology like “Halfway
house for shit” she shares her own particular brand of critique and
let’s face it, if you know your stuff you have the right to point
out what’s not quite right. Some people branded Tabatha a bitch for
being honest to God up front and she even turned that into an
empowering acronym Brave Intelligent Tenacious Creative & Honest.
Wow you go girl I am clearly a B.I.T.C.H and maybe you where
thinking of me also when you created this?
As well as
all of the TV stuff Tabatha runs her own successful hair salon in
Ridgewood New Jersey called Industrie Hair Guru’s. Her own
philosophy seems to be that she is just a very talented hairdresser
who got some very lucky breaks Her personality really shines through
and I can see what the producers saw in her in order to offer her a
show of her very own. She really is talented and her common sense
approach makes for interesting viewing. Please Tab cut my hair F.F.S
As I read her
book, I realize apart from being stunningly beautiful just how many
things Tabatha Coffey and I have in common. We both lived in London
at the same time, we both have Drag queens in our past, (ok I was
one, and now the secret is out) we are both amazingly talented
albeit at different things, we are both gay, and we both enjoy the
musical styling’s of Xander Gibb lol Screw it I’m gonna dye my hair
blonde and purchase some hot leather pants ASAP! Although I am sure
I won’t be able to do them the same justice as Tabatha does I will
give anything a go!
Tabatha says her sexuality is no different to her having blue eyes
and in no way pertains to her career and you know what I really
concur with that sentiment. Gay people don’t go to work to be gay,
they go to work to earn money and pay their bills like everyone
else. Coming out to her Mom was not the experience she expected from
such a pro gay Mother but the book shares how they grew from this.
She has been in a relationship for over ten years which in gay years
equates to about 70 years in reality.
growing up around drag queens and gay folks leaves you very aware of
those around you from an early age. In the book Tabatha details
openly her life to date including her failed boob job. Very few
Celebrity books, although she insist she is not a Celebrity are so
frank and honest to a point of making you feel like she is a friend.
We also see a pictorial epilogue of the life and times of Tabatha
Coffey and although the looks may vary, she remains the same down to
earth person we have got to know.
The TV show
goes from strength to strength and I watch each week with
trepidation at the audacious attitudes of the people she encounters.
The odd thing about this show is that although I know nothing about
Hairdressing (apart from of course petrissage, effleurage &
tapotement lol) the common sense approach wins all the way and the
recommendations made are based on fact and procedure and not
personal likes and dislikes.
I often find
myself wanting to slap several of the participants for their sheer
bloody mindedness and unwillingness to accept change or different
ideologies whether out of sheer laziness or just because they know
best. My feelings and responses always echoe those of Tabatha and I
guess the rest of the populous. I go from shock to sheer shock, to
amazement and always end up glad that she manages to pull it off and
get the Salon back on track. I am yet to see an organization she
cannot turn around. Maybe the GOP needs to give her a job!
So what is
next for the amazingly talented Tabatha Coffey? A chain of salons?
Head of Bravo TV? Releasing a single with Xander Gibb? Opening The
Coffey Institute of Hair & Beauty? Well A little bird called Tab
told me recently it was gonna be the latter and I look forward to be
invited to the opening. So Tabatha Coffey I’m your biggest fan I’ll
follow you till you call the cops and get me arrested lol ! Buy the
book guys it’s a great read!
Luv, Xan x
THE A-LIST NEW
YORK- OR SHOULD THAT BE NAY LIST!
For those of you who haven’t seen
The A-List New York gurl are you in for a surprise and not
necessarily a pleasant one. After watching like 2 episodes I could
watch no more. As a screaming queen it had me running out of the
house looking for ver- jay-jay in disgust. Alright maybe not that
level of disgust but you get the picture. This group of spoiled camp
brats really have no idea about anything outside of the gay bubble
and really don’t represent my people or how most of us wanna be or
Some of them
are even so camp they need subtitles I mean come on girlfriend get
it together. If this is all LOGO can come as far as a gay reality
show goes they really need to fire the A&R people. This is the first
all gay reality show I have ever heard of and to be honest if this
is the standard I hope it is the last as every single member of the
cast is cut from the same pink fabric. There is no difference
between any of them and it’s as though they advertised for the
campest, most stereotypical queens in the state.
concerning thing is the program makers must be aware of how these
mo’s come across and that they add credence to the ideology that
all gay men are stupid, fickle, bitchy, limp wristed pansies who
will cry at the drop of a hat. I honestly believe programming like
this sets back gay people several decades as it’s like San Francisco
circa 1972. Before you say "Oh Xander you need to watch more
episodes to get to know the characters" believe me, all I want from
these characters is for them to admit they are heterosexual and just
(for want of a better word) Reichen (born Richard) is clearly
delusional and doesn’t need singing lessons he needs a different
hobby. Clearly this guy is surrounded by gofers and yes men who are
either too scared or too stupid to tell him he can’t sing. He was
the winner of The Amazing Race and really should have used his time
with Lance Bass better to at least learn how to hold a tune.
Apparently he is about to make his Broadway debut but I doubt Perez
Hilton will be there for the opening night given their history of a
love hate relationship. His single “I love you up to the sky” which
is apparently about #DADT is sure to wow the deaf community. TJ
apparently has pre ordered 1000000 copies out of sheer adoration.
Fights are a
common place in this show and its pocket books at dawn as a
regular feature. Austin (Marc Jacob’s ex) and his boyfriend fight
more than me and my Jewish mother but the violence is kinda
disturbing to say the least. Having said that I really am left
wanting to beat them all up and I don’t have a violent bone in my
body. The physical fights are very girly and not to make light of
domestic violence, they are very comedic to say the least. Lots of
slapping and scratching and a little punching thrown in just to add
that butch edge NOT!
Mike Ruiz who
is a celeb photog has appeared several times on Ru-Paul’s Drag Race
(AKA Ru-Paul’s Black Race) seemed to be the Daddy of the group and
for me was like the saving grace of the whole operation. Although
camp as tits the guy is very likeable and the kinda guy you could
have a beer with. The bio says that he is part of the A-List that
captures the A-List on film and I can live with that after all he is
good friends with Kathy Griffin and that’s practically Hollywood
royalty. Less queeny than all of the others I kinda felt he was
totally out of place and often has a “help get me the fuck out of
here” look on his face. Go Mike Ruiz!
I have to
wonder how much of the show is scripted because in reality can
anyone really be that camp all day, all night, 24/7? I know
personally I am openly a little queeny but these guys make me look
straight which is no mean feat. Add to this equation Wendy Williams
to break down the first season and more new words than a night with
Sarah Palin which I can refudiate, the shit really does hit the fan.
was clothed for a change and didn’t strip was now besties with Derek
and Ryan who was stinking of peroxide and I could smell it from my
sofa with his hooker red lipstick to boot. Wendy struggled to keep a
straight face throughout and clearly saw through the stereotyped act
and misguided B.S while Brazilian born Rodney and Reichen split and
got back together then split again several times during the show.
said she was a fan of the show struggled to keep order amongst this
meeting of the mo’s and really seemed like she wanted to laugh
throughout. She brought the show to its basest point when she asked
Austin which of the other 5 guys he wanted to sleep with. I am sure
looks wise he wanted them all but on a personality level I’d rather
be single. I know everyone has issues but these guys are
fricking problem magnets and everything is a drama for them on an
ongoing basis, but for me you can keep them.
This group of
homosexuals really don’t add to my pride and clearly do not
highlight a lifestyle that either myself or anyone I know, want or
aspire too and frankly it’s insulting. It makes all gay men seem
like retards with a pen chance for promiscuity and clearly this is
not representive of all gay people. It is scary how we will watch
any old crapola if it has a gay person in it, let alone a group of
gay people. I am saddened that this is what LOGO managed to come up
given the excellent standard of programming to date. I am sure they
won’t be making my sitcom now I’ve slated their show so thank
heavens NBC are interested lol. I’m off now to watch some straight
Peace and Luv, Xan x
ARE YOU IN THE
CLOSET? DON'T LET THE HATERS KEEP YOU THERE!
National Coming out Day this week and as an out and proud homosexual
I have very mixed feelings about people who are in the closet. The
first thing that springs to my mind is that closets are for clothes
not people, however Society has made it difficult for some people to
be open about their sexuality. I cannot fathom why famous people or
people with money would ever not be open about who they are because
why would you care and there is the school of thought that these
folks should be front runners in the race for openness and equality.
I read that
comedian Guy Branum was suggesting that if Anderson Cooper wants to
show kids that life gets better regarding being gay that he should
come out of the closet and stop hiding from it. This is where my
conflict begins. On the one hand I agree with Guy that we really
have to back up what we say in life because otherwise it can seem
like hypocrisy and you know how much of a bugbear that is for me.
On the other hand we have to acknowledge the right for privacy if
people do not want to be open about their sexuality should they have
to come out for the cause?
situations where coming out would cost you your job, your freedom or
you life, I would say that hands down you should say nothing. In
some places it is illegal to be gay and in certain very religious
countries where people are put to death for being gay it’s surely
the best policy to remain closeted. In America we have freedom and
it is only the haters that try to rob us of that. Not every state
protects you in your employment as a gay person. EDNA is making its
way through but only 13 states currently protect against
discrimination due to sexual orientation and gender identity.
feel that the more we fight for our rights and highlight the
inequality we face daily the more we deserve the response homophobes
and haters give to us. Surely that’s like saying know your place
which is kinda funny when you think that our country is based upon
the constitutional values of democracy, liberty, freedom and justice
for all. We cannot have equality without being totally equal, not
partially equal or equal in some things, but in everything. This is
not an allowance after all it is a right.
the Bronx and in The Stonewall Inn have once again brought fear to
the gay community and I am convinced that we need look no further
than the top to identify where the rot and the dross comes from.
While Senators and Leader are still promoting inequality and
homophobia from their platforms it will continue to lead people to
believe this is acceptable. In my last column I touched upon the
trickle effect of how these things trickle down and unfortunately we
are seeing the results of this. Why do we still support those who
hide their hatred behind political policies because this is what
keeps people in the closet?
said that Andrew Cuomo marching with the gays in the gay pride
parade was not the example we should be showing our children (even
though one of his staff marched) and that we should not be
brainwashed into thinking that a homosexual lifestyle is an equally
valid or a successful option. I think this is the perfect example to
be showing to our children. Andrew Cuomo is heterosexual and
believes in equality and marched in the parade to highlight this
fact. As for homosexuality not being valid or successful option it
is only devalued by the minority of haters who have a problem with
it and our success should not hampered or determined by those who
choose discriminate against us.
disappointed that the Jewish community leaders Paladeno was talking
too subscribed to his idiocy. The best thing to come out of the hate
speech is that even the GOP is embarrassed by this Tea Party
Tosspot. Surely this has hampered his already flagging campaign. Hot
on the heels of his prior faux pas of forwarding inappropriate
racist e-mails including ones commenting on the President he said “I
just forwarded them”. Apologies do not erase or change bad decisions
Clearly Paladeno and Palin are of the same charm offensive and an
America with either in leadership roles is a scary one! Send them
both along with O’Donnell (Christine not Rosie) & O’Reilly to a
came running out of the closet when I was 18 and by the time I was
comfortable with who I was I didn’t care what people thought. The
freedom that this gives to an individual is indescribable but still
some work to prevent that freedom or to take it away. I thank God
that I live in a country that allows me to be who I am but the
reason I write my columns and stand up to hypocrisy and injustice is
that I want my America to be the best it possibly can be and that
will be ongoing process. The people who have objections to gay
people being equal in society are clearly the ones with the problem.
Let’s face it John McCain cannot even begin to articulate why he
stands by #DADT and just resorts to rhetoric and robotic policy
What I find
alarming is the complete 360 some Repuglicans have done recently
regarding gay rights issues. Clearly there are seats to be gained
and elections afoot. Some would say any change is good change but I
vehemently disagree. If change is verbalized by way of lip service
in order to gain votes and clearly no change is ever going to occur
then it is pointless. Yes I know before I get a gazillion e-mails
Obama has done little to date to effect change in the Gay community
but he has done nothing to deliberately block it. Some would say
these are one and the same and I echo the sentiments of the woman
who recently said she was tired of defending the President. To quote
myself “You cannot change 8 yrs of mismanagement in 2”
It is another
extreme to be publicly anti-gay and then be sleeping with same sex
partners because that is hypocrisy in its highest form. When people
engage in this kind of behavior they leave themselves wide open to
being outed and clearly deservedly so. For me this is the only
excusable reason for anyone ever being outed as they hold themselves
up to a different standard and risk their own right to privacy by
saying one thing but doing another. Having said that I would never
personally want to out an individual. When I was a child outing was
an activity we did as a family and usually involved a trip or
excursion to the beach or an amusement park, not to destroy
Even if we
lived in a utopian society I am sure some people would still wish to
remain in the closet in the name of privacy and a big part of me
says all power to them. Just as I reserve the right to be an all
singing all dancing ’mo, surely that means that my closeted brothers
and sisters deserve that same right and choice too?
I have to
conclude that this is really down to individual choice and
circumstance but the circumstance part should always be your choice
too, but sadly for some in reality it isn’t. When you are openly
anti-gay and are engaging in homosexuality the sword of Damocles is
forever swinging above your head. This must be the very essence fear
and I for one am grateful that there is no closet big enough to
contain me or my outrageous life! Are you coming out? I’m here for
Luv, Xan x
BACK OFF YOU BULLIES!
As a child growing up I knew I was different not just because I
was a chubby, funny, flamboyant or sang a lot. When I went to school
the other children used to call me gay, homo, faggot, shit stabber,
bender, queer, sissy. Even some of the teachers would make comments
about my lack of masculinity all be it in a more subtle way. Who
told them I was gay? Not me! Certainly not me but it nevertheless
made me a target for abuse both verbal and physical.
The level of abuse I received was intolerable and I did tell my
Mother who went to the school and stood up to the teachers who she
felt quite rightly should be protecting me. To an extent they did
but teachers cannot be present every moment you are in school. In
the showers I was terrorized and accused of all measure of things
from looking at my peers to other levels of ridiculousness. I had
more excuses than I don’t know what for not wanting to take gym
class. My Mothers appearances at school only fueled the bully’s fire
to call me a Mommy’s boy.
These things clearly added to my behavioral & emotional issues
and the experience of being bullied really changed me. It was a
difficult enough challenge of growing and changing without the added
pressure of being a gay teen and having to hide that fact from my
peers and my family. When anyone remotely effeminate came on the TV
all of the gay jokes would begin and I could say nothing. I would
scream inside and wonder why there was such an attitude towards
being gay. It wasn’t something I could challenge, change, discuss or
even admit to. Thankfully I survived and it did get better and
believe me it will for you too!
Hearing about the teenagers who have recently committed suicide I
really do weep with despair. Over 20 yrs have passed and have we not
moved forward and grown as a society to the point where we can live
and let live? For anyone to endure homophobic bullying & violence is
unconscionable let alone a child. I honestly do believe children
learn what they live because hate is not a behavior that just
appears it is something is learned. We are never gonna accept and
love everybody but surely we need to learn respect and tolerance.
The place this begins is at home and children need to be nurtured
and taught from a perspective of respect. Homophobic parents breed
Some children have an uncanny knack for weeding out
vulnerabilities in their peers and I am convinced that if your
parents try to teach you a different route this really is a good
foundation for not needing to seek validation by treating other
people badly. I think bullying is a clear sign that something is
not right at home as violence breeds violence.
Surely we have duty to our children and young people to offer
them guidance and advice on how to deal with the things they may
encounter in life that they maybe don’t understand or have no
experience of. Inclusion of homosexuality in sex education would be
a start. Homophobia is no more acceptable than any form of
discrimination and is a social disease that we cannot allow to
continue. Society has to take a lot of the blame for this
indifference. With all of the current issues pertaining to gay
rights being unsettled I am sure this adds validation to the
ideology that gay people are of secondary importance and promotes
My heart breaks to think that certain politicians can block the
way to equality with no solid reasoning without realizing that a by
product of their homophobia is trickling down and now school
children are paying the price for this. Yes we do need to legislate
against this kind of discrimination but the buck needs to start and
stop with the legislature. Whilst our country allows us to be
discriminated against the message sent is that it is acceptable to
treat gay people badly.
Whilst I am
usually a harsh critic of Perez Hilton I have salute him for his
response to this tragic spate of senseless suicides. He has used his
platform to highlight the fact that it does get better. Encouraging
people to make videos and upload them to Youtube to talk about the
fact that suicide is not the answer. Perez has had an overwhelming
individuals, gay and straight alike have responded positively and it
is amazing to see the community come together like this. You can see
the videos here:
Perez reported that over 200,000 people have stopped following him
on Twitter since he started covering this issue. I say that they
where no great loss of this is there response.
It isn’t just
children who are feeling the surge of this tidal way of hate as
recently a young man at Rutgers, Tyler Clementi (18) killed himself
as a result of his roommates using a webcam to transmit live scenes
of him having sex with another man. They even tried to do the same
thing unsuccessfully the day before he jumped to his death from The
George Washington Bridge in New York. His body was identified on
Thursday after being found in the river the day before.
This was a
senseless tragic loss of a young man with his whole life ahead of
him. As for possible federal charges, a Justice Department official
says that's not likely at this point. The federal hate crime law
would not apply, the official says, because it requires proof of
intent to cause violence to the victim. Whichever way you look at it
his roommates have blood on their hands but I pray that this spate
of deaths will serve as a deterrent to this kind of mindless abuse
in the future.
Secretary of Education Arne Duncan commented on the Recent Deaths he
said "This week, we sadly lost two young men who took their own
lives for one unacceptable reason: they were being bullied and
harassed because they were openly gay or believed to be gay. These
unnecessary tragedies come on the heels of at least three other
young people taking their own lives because the trauma of being
bullied and harassed for their actual or perceived sexual
orientation was too much to bear.
"This is a
moment where every one of us - parents, teachers, students, elected
officials, and all people of conscience - needs to stand up and
speak out against intolerance in all its forms. Whether it's
students harassing other students because of ethnicity, disability
or religion; or an adult, public official harassing the President of
the University of Michigan student body because he is gay, it is
time we as a country said enough. No more. This must stop."
fully reflects the way I feel and we need to effect change as a
matter of urgency. These deaths must really make everyone stop and
think about their actions and the things they say and do to one
other. It is imperative that as a nation we step up to the plate and
respond to this wake up call to stamp out bullying, harassment and
discrimination on a national level. Our leaders need to lead by
example and put aside these petty ridiculous objections to equality
or we will have a bigger epidemic on our hands.
is a right and discriminatory practices only change by educating
those who allow their bigotry to overtake their common sense. To
harass or bully someone for any reason is not acceptable whether
that is in the schoolyard, on the internet, in the senate or on the
sidewalk. If you are being bullied or harassed tell someone about
the things you are experiencing. Chances are the person treating you
this way is also doing the same thing to others. It does get easier
and bullies are damaged people who need to back off and deal with
their own issues. Please don’t despair here are some sources
Peace and Luv, Xan x
IS THE PHRASE GAY
REPUBLICAN A CONTRADICTION IN TERMS???
have been thinking about how conflicting being a Republican and
being openly gay must be in America in 2010. Let’s face it The GOP
have done nothing for gay rights and have set the movement back
considerably. I would be the first to say that you cannot agree with
every single fundament of your parties agenda but surely it must
conflict you to your very core to follow a party that doesn’t
support your basic right to love and to be who you are.
of mine who are vehemently Republican would have supported Bush to
the hilt even with his administrations position on gay marriage and
gay rights. My challenges to these discriminatory policies where
tagged as being unpatriotic. Surely we cannot be expected to blindly
agree with every decision and policy for fear of being deemed
unpatriotic? The line has to be drawn somewhere or surely we will
forever be waiting for the right time for change.
always lacking for policies that discriminate against homosexuals
and if I hear one more person say “it tears at the fabric of
society” I will literally scream. What is this societal fabric they
talk of anyway and how come the things that tear at it are part of
the selective ideology of haters? Surely America is big enough to
encompass everybody so why can’t we all have the same level of
equality that is our right?
Republicans stand up for the idea that all Americans deserve to be
treated equally regardless of their sexual orientation and say that
they are sympathetic to gay rights issues. This is probably due to a
large proportion of its membership being gay and seeking to effect
change from within although they do not seem to be that effective
judging by current GOP policies. Whilst I applaud their efforts the
phrase “banging ones head against a brick wall” springs to mind.
The log cabin
Republicans endorsement of Senator John McCain was clearly an unwise
choice given his standing on #DADT. McCain said he thought the
military leaders had the answers to this until they told him it was
time to change the policy. Apparently he didn’t mean THOSE Military
leaders with current expertise an experience he meant the retirees
and general flag officers from the old school. Respectfully how will
we ever effect change if we insist on living in the past? If we
stand still we surely move backwards!
he is pro gay marriage as it should be ALLOWED but not legal! This
to date has to be the most elitist statement I have ever heard. His
wife Cindy and daughter Meghan however came out in support of gay
marriage this year posing for pictures with the NOH8 campaign.
Meghan said in her Twitter stream that she thought “more Republicans
need to start taking a stand for equality." Go Meghan McCain except
she still shops at Target even thought they donated to Tom Emmer’s
campaign and she will be allowing them to sell her book. This all
seems very contradictory to me as an artist who will not allow them
to sell my music as a protest. Was the NOH8 pic just to get the
gays on side Meghan?
Republican ideology on gay rights issues has to be left firmly on
the doorstep of the church. Even if you are a Christian it is
important to remember that the greatest commandment of Jesus was to
love one another and hatred just does not fit into that spectrum.
The Christian right has a lot to answer for and the separation of
church and state is essential as otherwise we would end up with a
system that is guided more by religiosity rather than democracy. Our
forefathers came here to escape religious oppression and if
religious organizations out there whilst entitled to there opinions
want to have a role in running our country then they should pay
republican websites out there have taken to bashing Obama once
again. I know everyone has their own agenda for change and although
I am still Pro-Obama I also wish he would pull his finger out and do
the things he promised the gays when he was campaigning for the
presidential seat. Having said that I am sure dismantling eight
years of ignorance and inequality is no mean fete and certain issues
on equality need to be federal decisions and not left to state
I know there
are some very gay friendly Republican Senators out there and I am
sure some of those who are pro gay equality will not admit to it for
fear of being unpopular with the party, the leaders or the voters.
Policy and opinion trickles down from the top and if the leaders of
a party don’t promote equal opportunities for all then how can we
expect change to be effected. To date I have heard no tangible
reasoning for not changing discriminatory policies only rhetoric.
Mehlman’s recent disclosure that he is gay I wonder where was his
voice of reason throughout the Bush years? This man could have been
an amazing tool for change when Karl Rove was pushing for same sex
marriage bans all over the union. Some are saying his coming out was
helpful for the ending of prop8 but I am sure it was just
coincidental and for Ken it was clearly too little to late. As a
staunchly anti gay rights legislator this man goes to the top of my
republican Hypocrisy list with Meghan McCain coming in as a close
Sadly I am
convinced that the phrase Gay Republican is an oxymoron and that
clearly the best thing Gay Republicans can do if they want their
rights and opinions to be represented adequately is not to vote
Republican. As I previously stated you cannot agree with everything
your party says or believes but when they cannot support your basic
rights as a human being how can you continue to support them?
Change is not
something we should just hope and pray for we have to exercise
constitutional rights and use the systems at hand to affect it. I
know some people will say they are fundamentally Republican but that
doesn’t change your sexuality or your right to equality. When older
Republicans stop hanging on to the past and excusing discrimination
with exquisite phraseology America will be a better place.
Luv, Xan x
DON'T ASK DON'T TELL
McIntosh’s experience of discrimination"
Although I am
probably one of the most patriotic people you could ever meet there
are actually things that upset me immensely about these United
States. Part of the reason I write about things it to prompt thought
and effect change on whatever level I can. Don’t ask don’t tell (#DADT)
is a policy which prevents members of the gay community from
revealing their sexuality in the armed forces. To do this leaves
these individuals open to being discriminated against and
the reason for this is that it would put at risk the high standards
of morale, good order and discipline for those who are homosexual
who are willing to fight and die for our country to disclose their
orientation. It should be called Clintons compromise. Whilst I am
sure this was an attempt at equality it fell far short. The only
thing that should ever be subject to don’t ask don’t tell is my ever
decreasing weight. Don’t ask ‘cause I sure aint gonna tell.
convicted felons can serve in the military but your common or garden
homosexual cannot. Well technically they can but they are forbidden
to be “openly” homosexual. Those who have stood up to this archaic
response to an inability to respect human rights and to ensure
equality have been treated badly. This actually makes me literally
weep to think that people are not afforded the respect they deserve
in this day and age.
Lt. Dan Choi
came out publicly and was discharge for doing so. He attended a
rally in the Capital with comedian Kathy Griffin. He chained
himself to the gates of The White House and was arrested for it.
Clearly serving in silence was not an option for him and I feel he
has paved the way for others to challenge this inequality. I don’t
think serving in silence should be an option for anyone.
Heterosexuals don’t go to work to be heterosexual they go to work.
Do they think gay people are incapable of maintaining
On May 27th
the house voted to repeal #DADT and it passed by a margin of
229-186. The senate is expected to vote in the fall. I am always
astonished that the rights individuals will receive are put to a
vote. Yes I know we live in a democracy before I get a million
e-mails but surely all rights should be equal? This leaves me
scratching my head. Why should you be treated differently under the
law because you are gay?
Today I heard
about Jarod McIntosh who is being generally discharged from the Navy
because they found pictures of him and his boyfriend on his cell
phone which they confiscated because he took it on board the USS
Wyoming submarine, whilst Jarod admits he made a mistake taking it
on board as it was a camera phone. It was passed to base security
for scrutiny for classified material of which none was found. They
did however find pictures of Jarod and his boyfriend which he
wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to see.
The next day
Jarod was summoned to see the chief of the boat who told him he
would be written up under article 92 for failing to obey an order or
regulation and was sent home after being advised he would be able to
return to work in a couple of days. Two weeks later after hearing
nothing he was informed he was getting an “other than honorable
discharge” for being gay. He wasn’t asked and he didn’t tell!
Captain was clear about the fact he had no issue with his
orientation and was pleased with his service to date but he was
following orders from above. He was then removed from the boat and
taken to a holding unit to await an administrative separation board
in order to get retention or an honorable discharge. Lets face it in
most places if you where fired for being gay your employer would be
Captain and his chief where present at his hearing and requested he
be retained and placed back onto the boat as soon as possible. It
was deemed that although bringing the cell phone aboard was not
grounds for separation, but being gay was. Lets be clear about this
Jarod didn’t out himself evidence from his phone was used in order
to obtain the discharge.
request has been set up and Jarod is waiting to hear from the board
responsible. He told me he is continuing to fight for an honorable
discharge and if that fails he will be seeking congressional
representation to seek redress for this discriminatory action. Lets
face it folks if this had been a heterosexual he would have received
a slap on the wrist and been told that he should be more careful in
cannot find out what the unacceptable risk to the military is in
repealing don’t ask don’t tell? Heterosexual friends of mine who
are gay friendly (whatever that means) and in the services tell me
there would be violence against openly gay people in the military
and changing things in a time of war is not the right time. When
then I ask is the right time for equality? I think it is NOW!
Please do not
lets this young mans plight go un-noticed. Please call your Senator
and make your views known. Let’s not have the men and women of this
country who choose to serve and protect us be discriminated against
because they happen to be homosexual. Repeal DON’T ASK DON’T TELL
COZ IT DON’T WORK.
Love & Peace
THE PINK DOLLAR
"A SIDEWAYS GLANCE
AT THE EFFECTS GAY PEOPLE HAVE ON CURRENT MARKETING TRENDS"
With the recognition of gay people
having a higher disposable income to some business people the pink
Dollar has become one of the most increasingly sought after markets.
From bars, to restaurants, to shops and now even multinational
companies are getting in on the act. In recognition of our spending
power, it seems that IKEA have often used overtly gay advertising in
order to sell its products. So take heed TARGET!
In America over the years there
has been lots of overtly gay advertising for products ranging from
furniture to whisky. One ad agency chief said of the gay market:
"With spending power of this caliber it would be mad not to cater
for them." IKEA have already got our attention with prime time ads
and there is hope that there will be more.
Other companies who have used gay
advertising include banana republic, with kissing lesbians, K-Mart,
using two older queens plus Johnny Walker whisky and Paco Rabanne
being more ambiguous. Guinness was rumored to have made a gay advert
some years ago - though the media debate at the time guaranteed it
was quickly shelved, never to have been aired.
Is it that “Us Gays” are coming
back into fashion again? I wonder? A certain beer company where
boycotted by gays because the company was believed to be antigay.
It seems that some companies try to dominate the market by enabling
the product to appeal to us although I wonder how easy this actually
is. Are we that gullible that a hot guy can sell us anything? Wrap
him up I’ll take him away.
I feel that advertising could
possibly be on a sticky wicket, as it’s a real presumption that “Us
Gays” will buy one product rather than another just because of its
advertising. If the product is bad good advertising certainly won't
make up for it in any way. IKEA apparently said their gay targeted
adverts treated people 'as people, and that gay money is “every bit
as good as straight money”. (Well thanks for that)
It seems that the hallmark of
these ads is to recognize homosexuals as responsible members of the
community. (I guess that’s when we are not tearing at the fabric of
society) I've haven’t met many responsible gay people lately. (Just
kidding of course) Although in some ways it's good that gays have
been shown in this light some may say that we're being exploited. No
matter what you think, it seems odd that mainstream companies should
take such an interest in the finances of our community. Clearly they
see the potential of marketing to us.
I don't really think that it's
been out of any equality school of thought but rather a profits
point of view. It would be quite different if these companies said
10% off for the LGBT community but I don't think they would. When I
buy a product or use a service I use it or buy it for how good it is
first and very rarely does the gay-friendly factor come into it.
If a company has out and out
slagged off the gay community or supported Anti-gay organizations or
individuals then I would definitely boycott them although I think
that most companies would be very careful as to their public image.
Target has recently come under attack for donating monies to
Minnesota GOP candidate Tom Emmer who openly opposes gay marriage.
Target CEO Greg Steinhafel maintains that it still supports the LGBT
community and has no agenda. This highlights the risks for companies
that make corporate donations to political groups.
As you may have guessed this
homosexual will not be shopping at Target in the near future or
probably ever again. I am convinced that they will come up with a
T.V ad to counterbalance the situation. Who knows maybe Elton John
will be available to sell out again if the price is right. I am sure
Target regrets its decision but I watch with interest at their
actions to find face with the gay public again.
I do look forward to seeing more
'gay-friendly' ads though, as there maybe some hot guys in them and
maybe this is the pulling power. I still I don't think it will sway
me. Maybe if they where smeared with chocolate and…………. Ok enough of
my drivvle. They could always offer me an advert though: 'Xander
Gibb' advertising Martini or Champaign, or a men's cosmetic range.
No not a diet product you bitches! I can dream, can't I?
Luv, Xan x
THE TWITTER SOCIAL
So for those of you on Twitter
who may have come across me recently thank’s for embracing the
true meaning of Social Networking and following me. Those of you
who haven’t come on people get with it. Seriously though,
Twitter has been a real education for a minor homo celeb like
me. The level of elitism is simply astounding to say the least
and clearly some of these guys don’t ever use a bathroom. If
they did they would realize where there heads are well and truly
been on things like Myspace and Facebook for some time I have
really used the medium to keep in touch with my followers and
those who enjoy my music, writing and comedy on a regular basis.
I really noticed the level of elitism on a small scale on
Facebook with those who thought that they where far too good to
add you and celebs you had maybe met once or twice but they
certainly wouldn’t consider you as a friend.
even been blocked by certain republicans who are none to fond of
my openly homosexual rants against the establishment’s attempts
to block my civil rights or even when I have called out certain
porcine assholes in the media (Rush Limbaugh) but never anything
like Twitter. Give it time I hear you say, you have only been on
it for a month. I am not going anywhere as I believe you change
things from within by whatever means are necessary. Watch out
Perez I’m a coming to get you well me and Will-I-Am and several
the problem with Twitter is that it gives some already swell
headed celebrities the Idea that we actually live our lives
around what they think about other people and gay celebs are
actually 10 times worse. They want you too follow them so they
can brag about having 30000 followers but when it comes to
responding to you that’s a different matter. You know who you
are Claymate! I can see you all thinking now, “oh they must get
hundreds of messages every day” and although I appreciate that I
think when you put yourself out there you gotta be prepared to
find amazingly funny is how most of the comedians can bitch but
when you bitch them back its like you have committed a
treasonous act. Surely the mark of a true comedian is to be able
to out bitch a heckler or so you would think. It would be a
great way to find new material from the comments people make to
you and with a little tweaking you’d have a new routine. Joan
Rivers really cannot take a joke. Of course I don’t think she is
attacked by cadaver dogs every time she leaves the house but
it's funny right? .
Mayer or John Anniston Mayer to you and I (don’t get me started
on what the C stands for) seems to be self appointed star guru
to new celebs coming to Twitter. Kanye West recently joined and
John told him “welcome to twitter.
Try not to use it as a marketing device. Tweeps will see through
it. Give them YOU”. I mean please just pass me the barf bag like
Guru John Mayer has never peddled his wares on any Social
Networking Site or God forbid made a boo boo.
He even tried to enlist Samantha
Ronson who was to busy pontificating about the personification
of the internet. I mean please do these people think that we buy
all this bullshit? I certainly don’t, do you? Celebrities want
to sell you their snake oil including me, buy my album @
however I wont be ignoring you on Twitter or any
other network. I can honestly say I was happy to pose for pics
at pride and shake hands and stuff. Just don’t ask for my phone
number unless you are 25 and hot! Seriously whatever your level
of celebrity should your accessibility totally disappear?
people like Fran Drescher and Kelsey Grammar are very friendly
and although they have the level of distance you would expect,
they reply and Kelsey has ongoing conversations with people. He
even opened up about his divorce on Twitter. Sherrie Shepperd
never replies even when I help her out with directions when she
gets lost in ....New York.... but that’s cool. She’s on The View
you know! Then there are the faux celebs that are not verified
and are just hoi polloi pretending to be Tina Turner and such.
Funny really I can’t imagine Tina on Twitter. ..Cher.. maybe but
Apparently Amanda Bynes has come out of retirement as she has
found her love of acting again one week after she said she would
never act again. I mean where the fuck was it hiding under her
pile of laundry? This was clearly twitter speak for I haven’t
been offered a good role in a while and need to gee up the
acting establishment for a few days. Now don’t get me wrong I
love my dear Amanda’s body of work but please she’s no Betty
White is she? Love ya Chicky x .
Handler Lately has a twitter account and so does her dog Chunk.
She adds a picture everyday of some body part or other or of Guy
Branum dressed in drag, or herself dressed as Dinah Lohan. She
even enamors us with pics of her brother Chef Handler whose
forehead is so big you could show the handler home movies on
it. The one saving grace well two actually are Jiffy Wild and
Ryan Basford who are hot, hot, hot. These guys can have my
number whenever they want it. I know they want me!.
folks are on every five minutes linking to their wares. I’m
thinking particularly of the Kardashian Klan who have no
particular talent but have a famous name. Hey world my name is
Gibb. Ever heard of the Bee Gee’s? My new fragrance is coming
out next month it’s called Staying Alive. Be careful guys or
John Mayer will be busting your Kardashes for using Twitter as a
marketing device. Kathy Griffin is on every 5 minutes pushing
both hers and her mother’s excellent books and setting gay men
up for thrupples. Go figure.
I am sure that as I
grow into Twitterville that the residents will eventually accept
me as I continue to be heard and stand up to bigotry and idiocy
I am sure my following will grow as it has on other networks.
The celebrities will either grow to love me or they can live
with it. The beauty of living in a democracy and being on a
social network is that I am an entitled to my opinion whether A
list celebs like it or not. I maybe on the E list but at least I
am on a list. You can add me on
May the networks be with you and remember celebs are only celebs
because you follow them.....
Peace Tweeps, Xan x
THE GAY MARRIAGE
As the smoke clears and the gay
marriage debate can no longer be used as a diversionary tactic in
order to avoid talking about bigger issues, isn’t it time this
matter was settled once and for all? One of the basic fundaments of
The American Way is democracy freedom and liberty for ALL. So what
about minorities in all of this surely they come under the “ALL”
banner don’t they?
For me the
gay marriage issue is just a band aid for a severed head. It’s just
a drop in the ocean and one small step toward the equality that gay
people should be enjoying as a right and not just some afterthought.
It really does have to be all or nothing including, pension rights,
immigrations rights, inheritance rights, the whole caboodle. Just
allowing certain equal rights is not total equality it is just
partnerships are really just a cop out and clearly are just a way
toward enabling society to make us feel included. I have to laugh
when certain less informed individuals think gays wanna get married
to mimic their heterosexual counterparts. It’s not about a piece of
paper it’s about the right to choose how we live our lives and to be
able to have the same rights and choices as everyone else.
doesn’t help that in the U.S each state has there own laws and by
laws and some federal laws supersede others. Let’s face it some
states you are still allowed you to marry your cousin, as long as
he’s not gay of course. The change needs to come from the top and
although it may take a while to trickle down, surely this has to
better than allowing a state by state decision. It sounds so crazy
that some overpaid politician can decide who I can marry.
I can fight
and die for my country but I can’t marry someone of the same sex. Go
figure. Don’t even get me started on don’t ask don’t tell. We live
in the most amazing most advance country on the planet but on some
fundamental level we can’t seem to grasp the basic concept of
equality. I am heartened by the Obama administration and its
commitment to change and although I am frustrated by its pace, I
trust in his ideology and process, but will continue to monitor
opposing gay marriage have some weird and wonderful reasoning for
doing so, including it attacks the fabric of American society, I
mean W.T.F? Marriage is between a man and a woman, Marriage is a
sacred institution (and of course heterosexuals never breach that
sacred bond) and the list of craziness goes on. Kathryn Rogers can
marry a bigot, but I can’t marry a man now where’s the justice in
that? I can no more change my attraction to men than she can change
her attraction to bigots.
aside the bigot in question makes no bones about his feelings on gay
marriage, hence my frank response to his opinions. Limbaugh seems to
hate everything and everybody. He says marriage is not a right it’s
a responsibility which may explain why he does it so often. His anti
gay jibes are clearly designed to provoke controversy which is even
more startling as he says he believes people are gay from birth and
have no choice in the matter. He says gays shouldn’t be demonized in
society by anyone, so why not shut your fat trap for a change then
As an openly
gay man I do not require anyone to legitimize my lifestyle or make
me any more acceptable. However you dress up hatred it is still
hatred and when your likes and dislikes affect my civil liberties
then you risk my wrath. I do not hate you for disagreeing with me
but I do feel I have a responsibility to educate you in the process.
It is my right to live and to love whomever I please. Even religion
shouldn’t be a bar to gay marriage and the control it tries to
exercise in this matter is nothing to do with God.
can and does work and has clearly worked in Europe. Denmark has had
gay marriage rights for nearly 20 years. None of the arguments
against gay marriage hold up to scrutiny. Faulty reasoning leads to
fear and misconception and I wonder who’s rights they will try to
take away next. It seems that Andrew Cuomo has pledged to make gay
marriage a priority in New York State. He believes the legislature
could approve a bill as soon as 2011. Gov. Paterson ordered
recognition of gay marriages performed elsewhere however it seems
several obstacles still remain, like joint tax filing etc.
and one district (Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New
Hampshire and District of Columbia) have legalized same sex marriage
to date. California did and then it was repealed with prop. 8. Some
states offer Civil Partnerships but they do not include the same
rights as heterosexual marriage. It really does have to be all or
nothing equal rights across the board.
You don’t pay
fewer taxes as a gay person or pay less rent or even work less hard,
and there is an urgent call for equality. Apparently the Coquille
Indian Tribe in Oregon also grants same-sex marriage so maybe the
answer is to avoid reservations by moving to one. The fight for
equal marriage rights have been going on since the early 1970’s and
even with the politically divisive sensitivities, I pray that common
sense will eventually prevail.
Luv, Xan x
ARE YOU PROUD
ENOUGH TO GO TO PRIDE?
The Gay Pride Festival or LGBT
(Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Transgender) Pride Festival as it has become
latterly known is an international celebration of gay culture and
all things queer. The message is clearly about being proud of who
you are hence the name Pride which is used as an antonym for shame
which has been used to control, oppress and generally fuck us over
for long enough.
born out of the Stonewall riots in 69 when the cops in New York City
performed raids on bars till the gays fought back Vive la revolution
and quite right too. Pride has increased the presence and voice of
gay people both locally and on the world’s stage giving us a bigger
voice in life the universe and everything. The rainbow flag proudly
flies outside of gay bars and organizations and is the symbol of
first Pride march was in 1970 and was proposed by Craig Rodwell.
Along with his partner Fred Sargeant, Ellen Broidy & Linda Rhodes
they championed the resolution for a march every year on the last
Saturday in June to commemorate the Christopher street
demonstrations. It was called The Christopher Street Liberation Day.
This became the first Pride march which is now celebrated annually
around the world.
I think it
has to be said we owe a real debt of gratitude to these guys as it
has been a fore runner to claiming many of the rights we have today.
As a small town boy attending my first march it was a real proud
moment for me. I walked down the street and blew my whistle for all
of the world to see. Clichés aside I really felt proud to be gay as
I’d had to hide it for so long. The beauty was we all came together
for that one day, gay, lesbian, black, white, trans-gender, drag
queens, bears, leather queens, and families.
I remember on
the march seeing people I knew some of whom where shocked to see
corporate Xander in make up and stillies camping it up as gay as gay
could be. I really didn’t care I was on cloud ten and the march was
just the beginning. Even the cops who lined the route where
congenial and posed for pics with every mo in a 5 mile radius with a
yen for men in uniform. The final venue was like a fairground with
a pop concert and sea of people for miles and miles waiting
patiently for their favorite gay icon to grace the stage.
performer I have shared the stage with many A’listers and pinched
myself to ensure I wasn’t dreaming. Getting to perform for the gay
community on mass was an amazing buzz. Some disinterested and eager
to see the A’ listers, some with that come on impress me look, but
most like me happy to be there and to share in a celebration of not
only their God given sexuality, but their right to be exactly who
they where and not to have to apologize to anyone for it.
Pride is an
amazing and inspiring festival which has many different meanings,
memories for those of us who are gay, bi, Trans, heterosexual or
undecided. It is there to enjoy and embrace and is a reminder to
actually be proud of who you are. No-one can give that pride to you,
but many will try to take it away. As we march and dance and enjoy
the festivities remember those who have been instrumental in
enabling our right to celebrate. If you see me at the festivities
blowing my whistle, be sure to say hey.
Luv, Xan x
AFTER ELTON SOLD OUT AGAIN!
So here I am on my
soap box again folks. Yet another situation has pissed me off to the
point I am seeing red and snatching the laptop to scrawl another
commentary on today’s hypocrisies and shockable occurrences. So
who’s got Xander’s goat today I hear you say, surely not one of the
“Twat Pack” (Sarah Palin, Glenn beck, Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney)
again? Well yes and no.
As you may know Rush (Big Mouth) Limbaugh recently married the
lovely Kathryn Rogers 33, an events co-coordinator 26 yrs younger
than himself. Although I am left wondering what attracted Miss
Rogers to multi millionaire Limbaugh, this is not my beef today. So
my beef is very simple. Why oh why on Gods green earth would an
openly gay singer and activist play the wedding of a openly
Well my dear friends for the sum of $1000000.00 our dear Elton
John who we have supported throughout the ups and downs of his
career, performed at Limbaugh’s wedding. The phrase sellout springs
to mind among other less polite exquisite phrases. I mean really
it’s not like he needs the money. I have heard all of the excuses
including you can’t afford for sentiment in business, and maybe he
wanted to bridge the divide, and other such pukey ridiculous
Frankly as a singer no amount of money would have persuaded me to
perform for Limbaugh and his child bride. For someone who has attack
the gay community continually even suggesting gay fetus’s should be
aborted, it’s a joke really for him to even request Elton’s presence
least perform at his wedding. Let’s not forget that this isn’t the
first time Elton sold out the gay community. He did a duet with
Eminem who is known for his controversial gay bashing lyrics and
apparently they are still friends.
And as the song says Sorry seems to be the
hardest word as there is no sign of an apology or even an
acknowledgement that any wrong doing occurred. Surely if nothing
else this has to be a deal breaker as to how much support we give to
those who say one thing but do another. Hypocrisy of any kind is bad
but this to me is particularly abhorrent. I am not suggesting you
burn his albums or protests at his concerts but I think for me my
level of support has dropped.
Finally for me the other insipid thing about this whole debacle
is that only some states in the US allow gay marriage, however
Limbaugh could have married in any state as there is not a clause
that prevents “fat mouthed nasty assed idiots from getting married”
Elton you have lost my respect. I am disappointed that as someone
who has enjoyed the love and respect of the gay community over the
years, you just screwed us again. The candle in the wind just went
Peace and Luv, Xan x
RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE
II? DID THE BEST WOMAN WIN??? April
So as one of those homos who has
been known to throw on a frock every now and then (for the
entertainment purpose only you understand) I have been addicted for
the past few weeks to RuPaul’s Drag Race season II. As usual the
candidates displayed where of various standards. Some shone, some
stank, but some really sparkled. I had my favorites pretty quickly
as I am sure most did, Raven, JuJu B, and Tatiana. I even thought
Pandora box was a quirky but entertaining queen.
understanding of the aims of the show is to find America’s next drag
superstar, like anyone could replace RuPaul Supermodel of the world.
Let me say at this point I have ultimate respect for Ru and I feel
this trend setting forward thinking momma has paved the way for
equality and opened a brand new space for gay people in the field of
entertainment and continues to do so. Having said all of that that
certain elements of the finale did not sit right with me.
finalist where JuJu B, and Asian American queen who looked the part
and in fact is beautiful, very talented and improved the most in my
opinion. Then there was Tyra Sanchez referred to as the other Tyra
but girl tacky is the word that springs to mind. Although she
improved and gained experience she just didn’t cut it in my opinion,
Good performer, pretty but bad demeanor.
Raven was the
other finalist and boy is she good she looks amazing, lip synchs to
perfection but is a little on the bitchy side. A bitchy drag queen I
hear you say, doesn’t that go with the territory? Yes you would
think so as it wasn’t a Sunday school picnic.
began when JuJu B was eliminated for reasons only known to Ru. None
of the usual dissemination and dissection of what was wrong in the
judge’s opinions. I have to say a word or two about the judges. I
love Merle Ginsberg she is an author with a very classic style and I
can just about forgive her for co writing Paris Hilton’s semi auto
biography, but Santino is a different story. Santino Rice is a
fashion designer from Missouri of Project runway fame, whose dress
sense clearly makes no sense and often resembles a homeless guy, Go
time to “Lip Synch for your life” and although Tyras lip sync was
slightly more energetic I am at a loss as to how she won. On the
whole taking the series into consideration Raven and JuJu B where
clearly the best and I would have had difficulty choosing between
the two. Tyra wasn’t a patch on these two and although last seasons
winner was a surprise to me as clearly Nina Flowers was front
runner, at least Bebe Zahara Benet had star quality. Breathe Tyra
difference between this show and say American Idol is that the
public gets to decide who should win. In this instance the final say
goes to RuPaul and I can maybe understand this on a week to week
basis but for a finale to avoid accusations of bias maybe a broader
deciding factor would be more helpful.
been many suggestions that the decision was made on race rather than
talent and I have to admit that this was in my thoughts too. It is
easy to look for other reasons as to why your favorite contestant
did not win however Tyras lack of personality and talent when
judged next to the other finalists called into to question the
fairness of the decision.
I feel this
comes back to the theme of the show and clearly the philosophy is
RuPaul’s brain child and her decision is final. Did Tyra meet the
criteria for winning the competition? Clearly not in my opinion if
the criteria is Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent. Tyras M.O
was all a about poor me and give me sympathy as I wine, when surely
a drag queens M.O should be fuck it and actually have something
Churchill said you can please all of the people some of the time,
and some of the people some of the time, but you cant please all of
the people all of the time. Regardless of all I have said in my
commentary I thoroughly enjoyed the show but felt the finale was an
anti climax. Re watching the show I had to laugh when Ru said does
She (meaning Tyra while hyper ventilating) need to breathe into a
paper bag? No Ru she needs to put it over her head and shut the fuck
We will see
how good Tyra actually is when she as part of her prize hosts the
Aboslut Pride tour up and down the country. Don’t fuck it up!
Personality and the ability to speak to the crowd is not something
you can pull out of your ass and I believe her shyness will
unfortunately be her undoing. I do wish Tyra well and hope that she,
Raven and JuJu excel in all they do and use the opportunity they
have to build on their celebrity.
RuPaul Supermodel of the WORLD, My dear RuRu. Although I did not
agree with your final decision and wish a few things would change
about the show, like telephone voting, (which would also increase
revenue and reduce accusations of bias) and maybe replacing Santino
Rice with either myself or Kathy Griffin, I bow to your expertise,
as the show is called RuPaul’s Drag Race and NOT Xander Gibbs drag
race! The final decision was RuPaul’s to make.
Thank you for
an amazing feast of entertainment, I look forward to Season III and
wish all of the contestants the very best in their careers and in
all they do. Start those engines bitches!
Luv, Xan x
SOP BASHING OBAMA!!! April
So folks I
really have to take exception to the trashy folks that are bashing
President Obama on a regular basis. The main culprits are Sarah
Palin, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. These Republican
Reprobates don’t seem to know the first thing about patriotism and
regardless of partisan issues wishing the failure of the President
is wishing for America to fail also.
For 8 years
America spiraled into problems due to the mishandlings and sheer
bloody mindedness of the Bush Administration and its move away from
the constitution and away from the separation of church and state.
We moved from a surplus of funds at the beginning of the term of
office to a trillion dollar deficit. It was a shift to the back
burner for democracy, liberty and freedom for all and in its place
was a weird twilight zonesque America.
and vital country was manipulated by fear and all faith was lost. A
gun was held to our heads, not by just terrorists but by faulty the
leadership and guidance under guise of morality and righteousness.
When the carcass was picked clean new prophets stepped forward to
quicken the pace. Thankfully our eyes had been opened to wily ways
of the immoral majority and we said no to Johnny Mac and the wicked
witch of Wasilla.
is a quitter who comes across as an uneducated trouble monger with a
yen for power. As for going rogue she clearly has an agenda for 2012
and I pray that Americans will continue to see how dangerous it
would be to have someone as gung ho as her as commander in chief.
She clearly has no bones regarding whom she knocks to the side as
she continues on her anti Obama tirade. I would be the first one to
consider anything she had to say it where even slightly substantive.
By the way did you know from the window of my apartment I can see a
So for those
of you who didn’t know I am prepared to out my self as being pro
Obama. I would also be the first to say I have my own agenda for the
order of what he should deal with first as we all do, but the thing
paramount in my mind is that surely we need to see what he is
capable of before we write him off. Certain people who I named at
the beginning pf this commentary wrote him off before he even
began. Bush was given 8 yrs to prove himself and clearly the first
four where spent rehearsing excuses.
excuses Rush “Radio Show Republican” Limbaugh has been a clear front
runner in the race for the title of American Asshole of the year.
His racist reference to the president as “Barack the magic negro”
was nothing short of an appeal to lowest of the low. He then added
insult to injury when he played a song on his show by Paul Shanklin
entitled Barack the magic negro, set to the tune of Puff the magic
When he was
asked for a 400 word response on his hopes for the Obama presidency
he responded by saying I only need 4. I hope he fails. He
backtracked later by saying it was liberalism he wanted to fail and
not the country. No matter how you dress it up if you want the
President to fail, you clearly want America to fail as if one fails
the other is affected by the failure. Patriotism? I think not.
Limbaugh’s rants are clearly an exercise in increasing ratings and
popularity. Both Limbaugh Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck have ulterior
motives for their attempts to run down Obama, and I question whether
they really have that much to do with politics.
Glug” Beck is one scary M.F and is clearly evidence that they will
give any asshole with an opinion a TV show, so there is hope for me
yet. But seriously though accusing the President of being a racist
with a deep seated hatred of white people was a real odd one. So
does Beck think Obama hates himself because lets not forget his
Mother was white?
clearly concerned at Beck’s rants as Proctor and Gamble and
Progressive Insurance withdrew their advertising with the show as a
result. Fox said it had no negative financial effects on the
corporation however once again its reputation was hurt, but they
clearly don’t care. Good on the President for calling out Beck and
Limbaugh by name for their vitriol.
let’s talk about Dick. Calm down I mean Dick Cheney. I think before
Cheney opens his fat mouth he really has to remember for a moment
how he along with Bush gave the inheritance of the state of the
union to Obama. The economy was bad and the previous administration
where culpable. You cannot fix 8 years of bad management in one.
Whilst I am pleasantly surprised by Bush’s continued silence during
the Obama administration please Dick just retire with grace and
follow Bush’s example.
I will be the
first to criticize when there is a clear need to do so but before
you say how bad the President is please give him a chance to do his
job. Before I get 1000 e-mails reminding me about freedom of speech
let me remind you this is me Xander Gibb exercising mine. I have no
axe to grind, no show to promote as yet and no hidden agenda apart
from my conscience and the sheer compulsion to respond to it. God
bless the President & God bless America.
Luv, Xan x
ARE YOU KEEPING UP
WITH THE KARDASHIANS?
In an age where practically
anything goes very little surprises me. Reality T.V is a rather odd
concept that surprisingly drew me in. Although I cannot sit through
an episode of John and Kate plus 8, (Kate minus John equals fun) or
even attempt to watch Jersey Shores with such lewd characters as
Snookie and The Situation (OH PERLEASE) The Kardashians really has
exactly sure what the allure of The Kardashians is for me and before
you ask it no it’s not just that Rob is hot or that I’m trying to
work out which one of my Grandmothers friends Bruce will resemble
this week. I think it’s more about escapism. Whilst my life is
pretty exciting being a Z-List celeb I guess the trappings of the
Hollywood socialite speaks to me in a way that sparks my interest
for 30 minutes a week.
show is clearly staged as no-ones life is that dramatic except maybe
mine it kinda keeps your attention. If Kim isn’t obsessing about her
latest accessory then Kris is thinking up new ways to emasculate her
man and controlling her family. Bruce Jenner, lovingly referred to
as Kruce Kardashian is a former Olympic athlete who is better known
for his bad plastic surgery and a one time appearance in the Village
People movie, you can’t stop the music.
Kim and Khloe share a penchant for black football players. Kim dates
the hunky Reggie Bush, who plays for the New Orleans Saints and are
rumored to be tying the knot. Khloe, is married to Lamar Odom who
plays for the Lakers and all I can say is girls does either of them
have a gay brother and any chance of kicking me an intro?
dating the roguish Scott Disick who after a period of separation
reconciled with the Dash doll in Florida and got her in the family
way. The Long Island native is now the proud father of Mason and I
guess there will be no smooching going on there for a while.
Kourtney is also co owner of clothing outlets Dash with Kim and
Khloe, and Smooch with Kris Jenner.
George Kardashian Jr.) is the youngest of Kris’s brood to Robert
Kardashian Senior now deceased who was one of the team of lawyers
for the O.J trial, the first one that is. Rob dated Adrienne Bailon
a New Yorker of Cheetah Girls fame, well that is till he cheated on
her. Until Khloe got married they hadn’t spoken for over 6 months
and when Rob tried for reconciliation he found out she had a new
beau. Poor Rob, love him or hate him you surely have to feel a
little sorry for him.
there’s Kendall and Kylie who are Kris’s children to Bruce Jenner.
These girls are really coming into there own and are gonna be a
handful if there older sisters are anything to go by. They will be
the next generation of reality T.V stars and I’m sure there will be
yet another offshoot of Keeping up, then again we may all be
surprised an find that they have some discernable talent other than
having famous relations or just looking good. Bruce has 4 other
children from previous marriages and Brody Jenner is seriously sexy.
This team of
hoi polloi celubutantes wows us weekly with tales of lost dogs,
fights, broken hearts, fashion shoots and all the glamour, glitz and
trappings of life on the brink of Hollywood. It has frighteningly
replaced anything that resembles true talent and although it
masquerades as entertainment it is scarily entertaining.
television started out as a cheap way to make a T.V show and really
caught on but is it at the expense of legitimate shows? Keeping up
with Kardashians like it predecessor The Osbourne’s can surely only
have a limited shelf life, but I am sure it will be a springboard
for the careers of those involved. Watch this space for my reality
show “Making It” which will be available for syndication very soon.
Keep it up Kim Kris and the Krew, and give my love to Rob x
Luv, Xan x
Coffey is a world renowned Australian Hairdressing guru with inimitable style and
eye for what for works in the world of salon success and etiquette.
Her TV show Tabatha’s Salon take over is absolutely addictive. I saw
the first series when time permitted but now with the aid of DVR I
don’t miss a trick.
So in a
nutshell the show is about salon owners whose businesses are not
doing so well for whatever reason and want things to change. Tabatha
observes the business practices, stylists and the general goings on
in order to troubleshoot and identify ways to improve the business
and general functionality.
really is in the title of the show. She really does take over and
she takes no prisoners, and she takes no shit. Those who are clearly
resisting change and some of them really do get upset at being
challenged see her balls of steel. The business is made over, the
salon is made over and attitudes really do change for the better.
honestly say although I don’t know the first thing about
hairdressing I see the clear methodology of the process and the end
product is a high functioning, profitable salon with staff that are
given a kick up the ass in order the get them moving. I have to say
part of the allure for me is the fact that Tabitha’s style is so
hands on and she looks amazing. I triple love strong women. Any chance of a trim
For those of
you who have been unfortunate enough not to see this diva in action
I urge you to check her out on Bravo, Tuesdays 10/9C. Set your DVR
Love & Peace
So for those of you that didn’t already know
I am gay, homosexual, fruity, a guy who likes guys, etc and very out
and proud. Shock horror, “Oh Xander we thought you where dating
Kourtney Kardashian” (Nope that was just a rumor, but I am kinda
crushing on Rob right now) Well as you can tell from my tone I’m a
little pissed, and I don’t often swear in my journalistic
Cast your mind back to the US election race
where Johnny Mac and Palin trundled every sad republican wannabe
possible onto the main stage in order to boost their flagging
campaign. JoeWurzelbacher, AKA Joe the Plumber who became an
overnight sensation (yeah) as the average Joe, has recently said in
an interview gay people are “queers” and he wouldn’t want them near
Frankly I wouldn’t wanna be near his
children if they have evolved with the same discriminatory attitudes
as their father. Frankly it’s a bloody cheek to infer that because
you’re Gay you shouldn’t be near children. It’s archaic and is
clearly designed insight hatred, which is concerning as his comments
where to a Christian magazine. Where is the Love Joe the Homophobe?
Whilst I believe in freedom of speech I feel
that we really have to be very careful and concise about what we say
and how we generalize about people and sections of the community.
It is doubly insulting to hide behind God, and even hide behind the
GOP with such outbursts. I am heartened by the fact that educated
people are able to separate between fact and dumb assumptions and
the irresponsible mumblings of a wannabe tradesman.
Diversity is what makes America great and
what tears at the fabric of its greatness is the unwillingness to
live and let live. We don’t have to like everybody or even agree but
we do have to co-exist and not be apologetic for who we are. As with
most haters Joe said “he has had friends who are gay” which is
typically the response of someone who needs to plaster over bias.
So Joe the Homophobe yes as you ineloquently
stated the dictionary does show that controversially SOME people use
the word “queer” to refer to gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans gender
people but it’s mostly considered in polite society to be derisive
terminology. Maybe more derisive than “Homophobic Wannabe” but I
will leave that to individual interpretation.
Love & Peace Xanx
RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE
For anyone who didn’t see RuPaul’s Drag Race
on Logo/VH1, honey ya really missed out. Check the listings for
repeats or go out and find the DVD right now. I kid you not this was
the best TV in ages.
This show was a breath of fresh air and the
most original reality series I have ever seen. It managed to take me
through the range of emotions I laughed, I cried, I bitched and I
grew accustomed to these Drag babies that Diva RuPaul birthed forth
onto our screens.
The idea of the show was for the contestants
to embody the qualities displayed by the lovely Ru and via a series
of interesting and diverse challenges to prove to us they where
America’s next drag superstar. Start those engines boys and may the
best woman win.
The contestants where all very interesting
individuals with there own stories to tell. I associated with them
all on one level or another and had my favorites marked out very
early on in the game. I loved Miss Nina Flowers, as both himself and
as a performer was very beautiful and his inner beauty shone
through. Miss Glasscock although stunning bared her teeth far to
often for me.
I was equally transfixed by Shannel, Bebe
and Ongina who brought there own brand of personality to the mix. I
am so glad I wasn’t a judge on the show and I really didn’t envy Ru
having the final decision of saying shante you stay or sashay away.
Ru was super fair throughout. The judges where all very succinct in
there summations and I unusually was in agreement 95% of the time.
My favorite challenges had to be the girl
group challenge and the video challenge on the final episode and as
you can imagine as a singer I really wanted to get in on that part.
It came as no surprise who the final three where Nina Flowers,
Rebecca Glasscock and Bebe but to be honest they where all winners
in my book and displayed an amazing level of talent, beauty and
charisma. Watch this space!
RuPaul’s phraseology cracked me up
throughout and at the beginning of each challenge she said “Don’t
fuck it up” very to the point me thinks. In the reunion show I was
running to the printer to make a T -shirt that read: RuPaul says
“You’re a fucking star” or "Lip Sync for Your Life". I do hope that
if there is merchandise of this nature that there will be big sizes
This innovative program will leave some very
big vacant stilettos in the time slot and I look forward to series
2. I wish to congratulate Bebe Zahara Benet, thank all of the
contestants, judges and all who made possible for some wickedly
fierce TV. And last but never least RuPaul supermodel of the world
I love you girlfriend.
Love & Peace Xanx
THE PRICE OF AN OPINION
- March 16th
For those of us lucky enough to live in
societies where we demand the right to have our say and the right to
protest, the recent sentence handed down to Iraqi journalist
Muntazer Al-Zaidi of 3 years in prison should disgust us all beyond
In December last year Mr. Al-Zaidi threw his
shoes at former President Bush as a protest to the war in Iraq. He
also hurled insults at Bush calling him a dog and stating that the
shoes where a farewell kiss from widows, orphans & those who had
died in the conflict. I hasten to add that the shoes did not hit the
intended target as he skillfully ducked out of the way.
Apparently Mr. Al-Zaidi could have been
sentenced to up to 15 years in prison for his attempted protest
against the war. Ironically Bush shrugged of the incident at the
time and even joked about it later. The Iraqi government said his
actions where shameful. The sentence seems more than harsh in the
circumstances and certainly doesn’t fit the crime.
It reminded me of the incident in the U.K
where Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott was egged by angry
protester Craig Evans. The offending article did in fact hit
Prescott and he punched Evans in the face where upon a fight ensued.
The pair had to be separated as Prescott was led away with egg on
his face literally.
The Crown prosecution Service in the U.K
determined that no useful purpose would be served by prosecuting
Evans and the matter was dropped. Whilst I in no way uphold any kind
violence it really seems a sad conclusion to this situation. If this
had been an American or British citizen I am convinced the outcome
would have been a simple slap on the wrist or a fine.
More recently UK MP Peter Mandelson had
green custard thrown into his face by Leila Deen in protest to a
proposed new runway at London’s Heathrow airport. Deen walked away
without arrest, detention or any kind of intervention although
apparently Scotland Yard is looking in to the matter. Maybe she will
get 10 years or even the gallows?
It seems that Mr. Al-Zaidi was charged with
assault which is odd as no assault occurred even though one was
attempted. His 25 strong defense team could not prevent the
custodial outcome. Appeals are apparently in progress and it is
alleged that the decision was political rather than judicial, and I
wonder just who the Iraqi courts wanted impress.
In conclusion the price of an opinion is
clearly 3 years currently but we live in hope of equality for all.
Love and Peace Xan x
ROSIE O'DONNELL'S NEW
America is an amazing movie that tackles the
subjects surrounding the problems of the foster care system in the
USA. Based on the book by E.R. Frank, Rosie O’Donnell has skillfully
and sensitively portrayed the story of America Vega a 16 year old
about to time out of the system.
Although this is a dramatization it seems to
be very true to life and is a serious depiction of the growing
problem that needs to be addressed and improved upon urgently. We
see flashbacks of this boy’s life who feels unloved, uncared for and
as though he has no-one to rely on. The saddest thing about this
movie is that it is happening every day to children trapped in this
Rosie also directed and starred in the movie
and plays Dr. Maureen Brennan a Therapist in the facility where
America lives, and helps him to get his life back on track. The
casting is perfection and you really wouldn’t believe that this is
Philip Johnson’s first acting gig. His depiction of America was
truly amazing and he really owned the role. When he meets a girl he
finds a glimmer of hope that someone might really care. She has her
own problems but this does not prevent them from bonding.
Ruby Dee’s gave us her usual exemplary
performance. You will remember her from such things as The Stand and
The Golden Girls to name but a few. She has been an activist for
years and marched for civil rights. As Mrs. Harper she shows America
some love, something the boy was sadly short on.
O’Donnell a foster parent herself has
adopted children and apparently was so moved by the book she wrote
the screenplay to highlight the plight of the systems forgotten
children. This is clearly a direct cry and a ringing bell to get
people to look at the situation and I think people should take
Apparently a high percentage of children leaving the system
either end up dead or in prison. These are America’s children that
are being let down.
I found myself drawn to want to do something
or at least try to make things a little better so I’m checking out
to see what can be done. Check it out and see what you can do too.
Love & Peace Xan
MICHAEL PHELPS- ISN'T IT TIME TO LEAVE THE
It seems Michael Phelps has been criticized recently after a
picture of him was published in the newspapers smoking pot. (Shock
horror) Whilst I do not advocate the use of drugs I pose this
question. Isn’t it time to leave the guy alone?
He’s 23 yrs old and I don’t know many people
his age that don’t get drunk, smoke pot or something worse. Surely
the moral majority need to think back to their youth and the things
that they have experimented with. None of us are innocent and to wax
biblical “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”. No pun
As for him being a role model and I guess he
is although he has never referred to himself in that way. Society
deemed him to be such. For anyone let alone a 23 yr old this is a
lot to live up to. The media builds these people up and can’t wait
to rip them down. This a double recoup for them and let’s face it,
its parasitical. Michael Phelps apologized publicly and even lost
endorsements over this. He has also been suspended from the US swim
team. Some would say this was just the first time he was caught. One
thing that we all forget is that celebrities whether athletes,
singers, actors or whomever are all human and fallible.
Once again the media have a responsibility
in all of this. They hype people up to be superhuman and then beat
them with a rolled up newspaper when they find out that there not.
By no means do I condone Michaels actions but how long should he be
criticized? How long should he be punished for making a mistake?
With drugs being such a big problem in society as whole I guess this
is partly why people are very critical. You don’t stop people from
taking drugs by simply saying “Don’t do it!” Leading by example is
another theory but isn’t a guarantee that people wont take drugs. We
all make our own choices.
Inevitably people will let us down and make
mistakes but surely a part of redemption is forgiveness. As a
society have we become so celebrity obsessed that when they mess up
we feel we have a right to ensure that they receive justice, but as
we expect another chance then surely celebrities deserve this
Peace & Love Xan
I BACK BARACK - WILL YOU?
Please vote on November 4th. Don't look just at what the
candidates say that affects you. Take a holistic approach based upon
the merits of their agenda and how it will affect all of us. I
believe that Barack Obama is an instrument of change and that he can
make America a better place. No candidate is perfect but some are
better than others. Senator Obama has the drive to be a force for
good not just for this great nation but also on the worlds political
We have to take account of the standards we have seen and act
upon them according to conscience. The proof of the pudding will be
in the eating and we really owe it to ourselves to get out there and
vote on the day. No amount of name calling and mud slinging
will ever truly effect those of us who are educated enough to see
through it. We want real change not empty unachievable half
I challenge us all to make a difference on November 04 because
we can. God bless America.
YES WE CAN. VOTE OBAMA.
ESTELLE GETTY July
Yesterday we waved a fond
farewell to the amazing actress Estelle Getty. She was 84 years old
and had been suffering from dementia. As a veteran actress she will
probably be remembered most for her role of Sophia The Golden Girls. Her
character really was a hoot, and had the ability to hold your
attention and command a wide variety of emotions. The Golden Girls
was an international success and she had several spin off series,
playing the same role including The Golden Palace and Empty Nest.
Estelle was in many
other things including my personal favorites Mannequin, The Mask and
Stop or my mom will shoot. She will be missed and I have to admit it
made me sad to think that she had gone. She really was an
inspiration and her work is still as funny today as when it was
originally aired. Apparently The Golden Girls box set is now
available and I think I will be treating myself to it in the not too
In a way I have to agree
with Rue McClanahan when she said, "Don't be sad at her passing, She
will always be with us in her crowning achievement as Sophia".
See ya Stelle xx
HAPPENING - THE MOVIE
So yes I saw 2 movies in 2 weeks but don't
go thinking I'm an avid movie goer.
Firstly because not only do you have to get to the Theatre,
stand on line (even if you are on the guest list), ignore the sickly buttery smell in the air, and
that's before you get through
the entrance and also you have to dress up or at least wear clothes
Well lets get to The Happening, or should I say The Odd Event.
The plot was existent, but only if you kept your eyes open long
enough in between blood, guts, gore and the attempts of Marky Mark
Walberg to save the world, or at least the North Eastern continent
of the U.S. This road trip gone mad attempts to utilize the
excellence of the likes of Walberg, Jon Leguiziamo, and Zooey
Deschanel, but the watery script fails them. If you blinked you
would certainly miss Leguiziamo's brief but odd performance, in what
one can only described as an odd movie.
Marky Mark plays Science teacher Elliot Moore in Philadelphia
who takes on the world as all good Science teacher's do, aided by a
crazy hot dog obsessed nursery owner, go figure. These Science
detectives figure why what is happening is happening, with crazy
hunches and scientific theories and stuff. Even by the end of this
obscure 90 minute movie, I wasn't sure if I was watching a comedy or
a good 'ol American horror movie. It was like Day of the triffids
meets Soca on the road to Cairo, via New York, Boston and the boon
I have to admit my friends and I did laugh all the way through
in between shock and horror. The visual and sound effects
where excellent, although the shaky filming made me a little
seasick. Described as a paranoid thriller, but why I am unsure
the film was not a total waste of time but I really think you need
to check it out yourself to form a qualified opinion. The question
that lingers for me is if Marky Mark is too old to wear such tight
jeans? Beware the hot dog man and Mrs.Jones!
Luv, Xan x
AND THE CITY - THE MOVIE!!!!!
Rather than waiting for the DVD of SEX to
become available, last night, I actually saw the Movie. Although the
reviews have been mixed pertaining to the exploits of Ms. Bradshaw
and co I was sure I would enjoy their offering being a long
standing fan of the series. Most TV. shows that end up on the big
screen really lose the plot and become an extravaganza of cameos and
craziness. This movie was a surprise from beginning to end. It was
rather like a homecoming, or meeting up with girlfriends I hadn't
seen for some time.
This emotional roller coaster had me crying, laughing, and
crying again. The plot took the time to backtrack a little, to how
we had left the girls at the end of the last series, and gave us
insight into what had been occurring to date. The acting was
amazing, and although these where characters that the actors where
familiar with, they rose to the challenges of evidencing the
maturing of these girls, now women, we know and love.
I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but it wasn't
exactly what I was expecting. It was melancholic in the way it
reminded you of your own life's conquests and achievements and
growth alongside the timeline of these Manhattan gals! It really
left you totally aware that your pals where ok, and gonna do fine,
even in the face of adversity. It was a hopeful movie that left me
feeling good, but wanting more. Though I doubt there will be another
series, another movie would be nice, but I do admit my bias.
Although my cameo was cut, I urge you to check
it out soon.
Luv, Xan x
BATTLE OF THE DAVID'S
Along with millions of others last night I watched
the finale of American Idol. This Idol episode made living history
in that Simon Cowell actually apologized for his over zealous
comments the night before. It shows how wrong you can be as I was
totally convinced that Archuletta had won and was totally home and
dry. I guess lots of people thought this after the performances the
night before but an amazing 12 Million more people voted for Cooke
No doubt about it they are both amazing singers,
and will have amazing careers. They are both different types of
singers and have totally different styles. Talent will always shine
through, but you can be the best singer in the world but if the
style and content and quality aren't equal then something has to
give. The David's where both equally deserving of the winners medal,
and knew it, but the world voted, and thank God that the final
decision was the publics, and not Cowell's.
Congratulations to David Cooke, but fear not we
haven't seen the last of David Archuletta, he has already appeared
on a TV ad for a well known games manufacturer. (No
free ads on my site LOL) Ryan returns to producing
"Keeping up with Kardashians" and
selling Avon! Oh I forgot about E!, You gotta love Seacrest.
Luv, Xan x
CLINTON/OBAMA BETTER CALL YA MAMA
So please raise your hand now if you are as
sick of the political circus as I am. Phew, well I'm glad to see its
not just me. It is clearly become nauseas for all involved, let
alone all who share the planet. I feel it such a shame that political
debate always come down to a mud fight, and not a white collar
debate as our apparent ascension in life would dictate. Next we will
have Hillary's kindergarten teachers giving their opinions on life,
the U.S. and everything. I mean come on, really who cares? My
minister would have lots to say I'm sure.
How wonderful in 2008 we have both a female
candidate and a black candidate, which certainly is indicative of
America's willingness to change, move onward. I have to wonder however how many
members of middle America will vote for either of these candidates
for their policies rather than race or gender. When it comes down to
the nitty gritty, I wonder how many of us vote based upon a concise
study of the policies as a whole. I questioned myself on this and
realized that I don't. Like most people I vote on my reaction to the
policies that directly affect me and my life.
I am sure I am no different to any of you out
there in the way I think, but we do need to think beyond that which
affects us, or our particular section of society. The proof of the
pudding will be in the eating as my mother used to say. There is one
certainty and that is that someone has to win!
Luv, Xan x
BENAZIR BHUTTO December
I am genuinely saddened by the news today that
Mrs. Benazir Bhutto was assassinated in Pakistan. I am even more saddened by
the fact that in the year 2007 people still kill one another over
politics and religion. Why in our enlightened state, we cannot agree
to disagree, or even celebrate our differences.
I actually cried when I heard the news. I pray that her death
will not be in vain, and I pray for peaceful solutions to all
political, religious and social indifference. As someone who as
endured the pain of losing a parent, my thoughts are with her family
at this time.
R.I.P Mrs. Bhutto, Long Live Democracy!
PEREZ SEZ, JUST AINT WORTH HEARING August
Perez Hilton (
LAVAROTOREA) is a celebrity blogger, with no discernable
talent apart from bitching those with talent, for being human and
fallible. He seems to be obsessed with both Lindsay Lohan, & Britney
Spears, Enough already. Way to kick a girl when she is down. His
obsession is ridiculous, and I question his sanity, as do most
queens, who actually like Brit & Lindsay. We all want them to be
given a break, while he twists the knife.
He nearly kacked his pants when Posh Spice,
Victoria Beckham accosted him in the cafe he jokingly calls an
office. As for offending the general public, we are now to be
offended by his nastiness on TV too. His personal brand of whit has
not been met with much affection. His propensity for outing
celebrities in the closet will not win him any favor in Tinsel town.
Just because he is comfortably queer, it is wrong for him to assume
that others are too, and to bulldozer in regardless.
My momma told me we all get our just desserts.
Lets just hope that someone is around to record you getting yours
for prosperity Well at least Diane Warren loves you, and Paris of
course. Lucky you.
Luv, Xan x
WILLIAMS ACTOR EXTRAORDINAIRE
Robin Williams has to be the most versatile male
actor on the planet, ( AFTER ME OF COURSE)
From Mork & Mindy, to Man of the year, and everything in between is
all just so damn good. I recently saw Man of the year and really I
laughed my tits off from start to finish.
It actually got me thinking about Mrs.
Doubtfire ( BRACE YOURSELF EFFIE) and
how well Robin is able to mould himself into any role he is given. I
then began to wonder, what next, where could he go from here. What
hasn't Robin Williams played before?
A Gay Guy I thought, nope, he played one in The
Birdcage. Peter Pan, I thought, nope he played him in Hook, and the
list went on and on, and on.
I finally gave up as there was nothing I could
think of that he could play, that he hasn't played before. If
anything springs to mind please drop me an e-mail. He certainly wins
this months Xander Gibb award for hilarity (YES
THERE IS ONE) for making me laugh till I cried. Keep up the
good work Robin.
GRIFFIN WOMAN OF THE YEAR! July
I have very few addictions nowadays, apart from
food (OBVIOUSLY), and sex (
ONCE AGAIN OBVIOUSLY), and of course and
Kathy Griffin. I have been on the phone several times to the
Samaritans since the series ended, seems I am not alone. To top it
all off I am chomping at the bit wondering if there will be another
series of My life on the D list.
The self proclaimed D Lister, is the most
honest and down to earth celebrity I have ever seen. In the last
series, we saw stuff about her divorce, worries, fears, tears, and
even losing her Father. How many other shows display this level of
candor and honesty. She smacks of being very normal, but is
amazingly intense and very talented.
Her stand up leaves me rolling on the floor.
She is not afraid to say what she thinks and then some. I am glad
she is Pals with Ms. Lohan now. Allegedly they shared a cob salad in
a swanky Hollywood restaurant recently. I hear she also intends
adopting Dakota Fanning. Bet Pom-Pom and Chance will be pleased!
I have e-mailed Miss Griffin on several
occasions in the vain hope of getting a response of maybe "Suck it
bitch" or maybe she could leave a naughty message on my MYSPACE page
but nothing. Alas this is how life is for me be on the "Z" list, but
a girl can dream cant she. I will however be petitioning Bravo, to
ensure the return of her show next season!
Luv, Xan x
WATCH OUT THE BECKHAM'S ARE
The latest American craze seems to be Soccer, or
Football as the Brits call it. To this end they have secured the
services of none other than Mr. David Beckham, or should I say Mr.
Posh Spice. The downside of Beck's arrival in the States is that he
will be bringing along none other than Sicky Vicky, Ex, soon to be
again Spice Girl, Victoria Addams-Beckham and the brood! L.A. has
had quite a cool reaction and I wonder if they will be able to match
the heights of popularity reached in the U.K.
L.A. already homes Ex and soon to be again
Spicers, and my old Mukka, Melanie Brown AKA Scary Spice, and Geri
Ginger Minger Halliwell! How much can one state handle. David is
indeed very sexy and a world class football player to boot, but
Vicky love, don't give up your day job. Oops, too late, you did
until the Spice Girls tour again at the end of the year.
The Spice Girls allegedly earned a reported 10
Million pounds each from "The Spice Girls". This coupled with
Victoria's earnings from her solo career, mounts up to a cool 10
Million pounds. I suppose her hubby has few quid though so she is
not gonna starve.
Vicky has already become enamored with
Hollywood's glitterati and as Perez Hilton has slagged her off a few
times, she now has her head, well and truly ensconced up his ass,
and vice versa. Always the way with Perez, (or Parasite as myself
and Elizabitch call him) slags you off till you befriend him. He
just wont leave me alone he is my stalker. We shall see what the future has in store
for The Beck's in the U.S. but I really do wish them well.
Luv, Xan x
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY
"Boston Harbor, kick out those bloody Brits"
"Ooh, I bet they missed Pork Pies, Fish & Chips, & Coronation Street
Apparently today is the day when Americans
kicked British Ass!, and sent them packing back to England. This is
indeed a fact that all Brits in the U.S. will be reminded of today,
by rowdy drunken Americans. Quite right I am sure!
Maybe in a way it's a good thing that we don't
forget what has gone before, because if nothing else we learn from
the past, allegedly. I am so glad that Brits are close to there
American cousins, and that we have moved on from those ass kicking
Luv, Xan x
Well enough already. Give a girl a break. The only
thing we don't know is what color undies she has on and that's if
she happens to be wearing any on the particular day in question,
and whether or not she had prison sex, or had to bribe the guards
for better quality loo roll!
Seriously, I like a bit of celebrity gossip, as
much as the next guy (LOL) but please, how much do we need to know
about this girl. What I found a source of hilarity however was the
fact that Big P, was released from the Big house, because she was
claustrophobic, I mean who wouldn't be in that kind of setting.
Maybe she and Martha Stewart should come up
with a nice line in Prison Couture. Incarceration, Fashion for